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Camui Gackt

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(no subject) [Jul. 4th, 2005|03:39 pm]
Camui Gackt
[Khanto (Mood) |crushedcrushed]

# Iiiit's my birthday, it's my stupid birthday~
Iiiit's my birthday,
And everyone forgot...#

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It's far from Dead. [May. 22nd, 2005|03:05 am]
Camui Gackt
[Khanto (Mood) |contemplativecontemplative]

There's a life out there. A life I cannot touch. A deep hollow in the pit of my stomach and a stinging bitter grief that weighs my eyelids shut like the first and last moments of sleep.

He's a worried looking ghost, a mere skeleton of recollection, but he laughs and with vigour as the familiar grin spreads up his adult features, transforming him into a child.

How long have I loved you? How I long to have loved you. How I have loved you too long, and yet the time is trickling away through my fingers in a poor cascade of sorrow.

How has it been that I have had you and I have not spent every waking moment with you in my arms? This torment shall be one that haunts me in my dreams for many years to come, when you cannot be mine, for you are dead to me as the evening star in the sunrise fades leaving a trail of dim light.

How is it that I have loved too long, and loved too late? How is it that I stretch my fingers to catch the last tendrils I can catch, when I know the truth eludes me as will our eternity. Transient eternity, ever changing, ever alternating, even then shall I love your soul when the Earth claims your body.

Why is it that I should be only one, when foolish I could have been both you and I in the sunrise? The moon will come and with him, the night who will draw out the silver strands of your spirit, and I will be too distant to fight him away.

Why is it that such beauty and passion will die along with the flames of this sky? Why is it that although I know the Earth is alight, it shall all be too soon when my angel crumbles to dust and falls from my mantel?

Why, when your soul screams, I shall always hear it's call, even when I am too far to reach out to touch you? Why will this desperate yearning well up inside my chest and burst into a million stars, leaving me nothing but a blood stained cloth which tells more of my love than words ever could?

Take this, the gift I wanted to give you - the spoils of a wasted life without you, gone to waste. Turned to dust as the scars of memory of a life that never existed dig too deep, opening old wounds.

This world never existed, this memory I create. This perfect world we were never born into, where you and I would lay together, as we fell in love when the Earth was young. Where I gently stroke your hair back from your timeless eyes, your ancient smile flashes in my direction as we embrace, while the chaos of the universe coming into being rages all around our place of calm.

Never was a hurt deeper to injure the very soul of it's bearer in wanton self destruction. Never was a love more desperate to unfasten the fabric of time, so it might spend an extra moment embracing you in the maelstrom.

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(no subject) [Mar. 1st, 2005|11:22 pm]
Camui Gackt
[Khanto (Mood) |boredbored]

Tainted Sunset,
Adorned with jewels,
The strength of the many,
The tears of fools.

I only wish the sadness
Could crumble down to dust
Your face, as ever beautiful
Now rotting in the mud.

I only wish the memory,
Were a place as dark as night,
A place where I might lose myself,
A place I needn't fight.

I only wish the dreams,
Were tangible and deep,
Then I'd live inside my head,
And in silence I'd sleep

I only wish the pain
Were freedom close to death.
I'd tear apart my body,
And release my final breath.

Why? I don't know either.

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(no subject) [Oct. 26th, 2004|08:06 pm]
Camui Gackt
[Khanto (Mood) |coldcold]
[Nklahra (Music) |The piano playing itself again.......]

This forgotten dance, this eloquent chase,
More often than not we stumble in pace.

Through this crowded room we came eye to eye,
We met face to face, cheek to cheek, lie to lie.

We followed the steps, we danced all night long,
This memory, this beauty, this melancholy song.

Our broken bodies dance, our broken hearts sing
As once and forever, we step through this ring.

We danced, getting faster and quicker in pace,
We spun, danced and twirled all over the place.

And then as you softly led me to the side,
You said "Let's recover, let's forget our pride".

We meekly fell down to sit by the wall,
Watching these ghosts as they rise and they fall.

You drew out a knife, we both stared with interest
As deeply, so deeply it drove through your breast.

I watched and I waited as you fell away,
As I drew out the knife and began a new day.

Cold and bored thanks, and you?

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(no subject) [Sep. 29th, 2004|12:27 am]
Camui Gackt
[Khanto (Mood) |crushedcrushed]

I hate being like this.

I gently unhooked the chain of lies from around your neck and laid them upon the table beside the bed. I removed each and every broken promise from around my fingers and placed them alongside. In this tainted, strange sunlight, we were as we had once been. Your body, tantalising under the sheet of secrecy, and your face smiling a smile of mischief. My hands tracing unfamiliarity along your frame.

These jaded broken wings and forbidden thoughts, long since banished to the realms of infidelity. The unallowed touch as electric as ever... this gnawing and unreachable hunger deep in my soul.

But it's just a dream.


the scent of tobacco lingers in your kiss,
autumn hues strayed across your face.
this fake sunlight surrounds us;
a warm and deep embrace
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(no subject) [Sep. 19th, 2004|11:33 pm]
Camui Gackt
[Khanto (Mood) |depresseddepressed]

Holding one's breath in one's sleep is not a good habit to get into.

But there's not a lot one can do about it at the time.

Gacktreat big weirdo.
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(no subject) [Sep. 6th, 2004|09:56 pm]
Camui Gackt
[Khanto (Mood) |confusedconfused]
[Nklahra (Music) |Secret World - Enya]

Just.. Go away.. Leave us in peace..

I don't know what you want, I've tried to do everything for you, but none of it works.

I am solo leader of the house for a while, as my deputy is off at the moment.


Grah, so cryptic. Can anybody help me?

WHY did you slam the door before you threw the knife!?!? That is what I really don't understand.

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(no subject) [Aug. 27th, 2004|06:03 pm]
Camui Gackt
[Khanto (Mood) |contentdry!]

I love my golf umbrella.

That is all.

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(no subject) [Aug. 24th, 2004|10:45 am]
Camui Gackt
[Khanto (Mood) |boredbored]
[Nklahra (Music) |Pierce ~ TAKUI]

Wow, LiveJournal is not the place to be right now. Never mind.

I'm almost afraid to speak now, because I know it will get read... sounds strange, but it's never been so obvious before.

A life of killers and murders. Can you trust a killer? Can you ever really trust anybody? I don't know why I'm so paranoid recently, but...

Still working on Vanilla, please keep waiting! Yes, I know it should have been done months ago... (~_~)

Looking for some excitement. Who wants to come out and play? (-__-);

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(no subject) [Aug. 5th, 2004|12:11 pm]
Camui Gackt
[Khanto (Mood) |confusedconfused]
[Nklahra (Music) |Mono]

It's been a long time since my last update. Probably because I have nothing to say.

Masa came back. I had a row with Cha. I think things are as sorted as they can be right now, but I'm spending too much time alone in the piano room for my own good, I think.

Ah well. I think I may be losing my mind.

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